“Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s.” ~ Ezra Taft Benson

I saw a quote today by Elizabeth Elliot that spoke volumes. She said, “Maturity starts with the willingness to give oneself.” It struck at the core of what Father has been speaking to me. Spiritual growth and maturity are expensive in the Kingdom of God. It’s not something bought at the “Five and Dime.” It will cost you everything!

Most of us have experienced painful seasons in life. It is inevitable that we establish protective mechanisms to help us get through the effects of the pain. But, I have learned a valuable lesson over the years–when God gets ready to heal you, he will take you back through similar experiences that created the pain until you are brought to a place of peace.

What do I mean? I wrote about this very thing in my book One Small Voice. Here is an excerpt:

Hosea 2:14-15 (ESV), “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. And there I will give to her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.”  The Valley of Achor signified something very specific for the Israelites. In the book of Joshua, we learn that, “…the Israelites were unfaithful in regard to the devoted things; Achan…took some of them. So, the Lord’s anger burned against Israel.” Joshua 7:1.

Without going into great detail, the sin of Achan incurred severe punishment. Achan and all of his descendants lost their lives at the Valley of Achor. A monument was set up in this valley to remind Israel of Achan’s offense. But, remarkably, when Father was ready to restore Israel after her season of affliction had ended, he turned this same Valley of Achor into a place of blessing. In the very setting where all Israel was taught the severity of God’s judgment against sin, he also taught them his deep mercy and restorative ways.

What does that have to do with our own painful experiences? Everything!

I had a very clear vision while in prayer the other day. I became aware of a large wooden pole-like structure within my heart. It was deeply set. I saw myself trying to push it over, but it wouldn’t budge. I asked the Lord what it was, and he responded, “Unforgiveness, with a root of pride.” That grieved me. My desire is to have a pure heart before the Lord in everything. However, I do understand that we are to walk in active repentance so as to keep our hearts soft and pliable in God’s hands. Our hearts are always under fire in this life, and the choice to surrender to God is a daily decision.

Listen, that hardened pole of unforgiveness in my heart was there because I dealt with extreme injustice from someone who called themself my friend. This person took something I said in an extremely confusing and painful time and twisted it for their own use. Instead of clarifying my words and banking on the experience of my character, they turned it into something altogether different. Truthfully, to this day, I don’t know exactly what was said, but I have some pretty good guesses. Because of this, circumstances and situations were set up to strengthen the devil’s effects of it all in my life. That would have been enough, but the accusation was released into the spiritual realm to torment me and follow me until I gained authority over it and could cast it down.

But, here is the kicker. Paul knew this to be the road to spiritual maturity. He wrote about it to the Roman church, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28.

I don’t know what painful experiences and injustices you have faced. But, I do know this: You are responsible for the condition of your heart no matter what stressor has come against you. If you justify your pain and nurse the effects of it, it will become the thing that hardens your heart. You will have to take responsibility and repent of your own heart issues in order to be free from the pain.

Here is my charge to you today: Ask Father to start the process of rotting out the roots of anything that would harden your heart. Whatever brought you into the “Valley of Achor (Achor means trouble), God wants to turn your experiences into a “Door of Hope.” Do you know what day it was when Father helped me to uproot that solidified pole of unforgiveness in my heart? It was the day that the Israelites celebrate deliverance from their adversary, Haman–The Feast of Purim. There is an expiration date on the things the devil has thrown your way. The question is: Will you be ready to receive the Lord’s blessings on that day, or will your own heart keep you from those blessings?