“The drive toward Life is protective, thoughtful, vulnerable, and invested in immaculate love. It is this last that marks the difference between a wise heart muddy with real life experiences in the trenches and a dry heart that functions on rote concepts alone.” ~ Clarissa Pinkola Estes
In looking at Dr. Stephen Joseph’s 7 Qualities of Truly Authentic People, we come to the third quality on his list:
Truly authentic people are thoughtful.
When we think of a thoughtful person, a variety of attributes may come to mind. Maybe we see a compassionate person who is ever mindful of those around them. Maybe we think along the lines of someone who is more academic in nature and seeks to answer life’s questions through education and solution-seeking. Maybe we see an esoteric poet who is forever contemplating the meaning of life.
Each of these examples certainly portray a thoughtful person. But I love what Catholic author and trauma counselor Clarissa Pinkola Estes says, “…a wise [thoughtful] heart is muddy with real life experiences in the trenches.”
I would define an authentically thoughtful person as someone who has learned a great deal of life lessons–maybe the hard way–but has truly learned the lessons. Because of that, the results show up in how they treat other people. As a Christian this needs to play out in showing patience toward those who have yet to learn the lessons but are truly on the journey. It doesn’t mean that we ignore sinful behavior or do not administer discipline when needed. The Bible tells us that we are illegitimate children if we do not come under discipline when our hearts are straying. It does mean however, that I remember the pit from which I was pulled from when I came to Christ and I deal with those around me in a redemptive manner–even when they “don’t deserve it.” Listen, none of us deserve God’s mercy and yet, he offered it freely.
“Remind people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready and willing to do good, 2 to slander or abuse no one, to be kind and conciliatory and gentle, showing unqualified consideration and courtesy toward everyone. 3 For we too once were foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various sinful desires and pleasures, spending and wasting our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. 4 But when the goodness and kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared [in human form as the Man, Jesus Christ], 5 He saved us, not because of any works of righteousness that we have done, but because of His own compassion and mercy, by the cleansing of the new birth (spiritual transformation, regeneration) and renewing by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom He poured out richly upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that we would be justified [made free of the guilt of sin] by His [compassionate, undeserved] grace, and that we would be [acknowledged as acceptable to Him and] made heirs of eternal life [actually experiencing it] according to our hope (His guarantee)” Titus 3:1-7 (Amplified Bible).
Those words are not written by someone who is fueled by fear and perfectionism––the dry heart that Estes speaks of that functions out of rote concepts. Those words are written by the Apostle Paul who deeply understood what God had done for him personally. Paul mentions the incarnation of Christ three times in the book of Titus. God was made flesh and dwelt among us (the incarnation). Jesus walked among us and participated in our human experience––except without sin. That is the epitome of authentic thoughtfulness, true compassion, and real love.
If we are to be authentically thoughtful, it will require us to truly appropriate the love of Christ within ourselves and then freely offer it to those around us. Genuine thoughtfulness must move from an esoteric mindset into true compassion if it is to resemble the actions of Jesus. I don’t know about you––but I have learned plenty of lessons the hard way. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someone else could benefit from the lesson I learned without being bruised and scarred in the process.
Lord, make me mindful [thoughtful] of those around me.
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