“One’s friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.” ~ George Santayana
We have been looking at Stephen Joseph’s article entitled “7 Qualities of Truly Authentic People” published in Psychology Today. In the opening paragraph, he writes, “Authenticity is highly valued: On the whole, we don’t like or trust people who come across as phony and false. Not surprisingly, we avoid such people. We seek friends and colleagues who are authentic.”
This leads us to the second quality that is listed in his article. Authentic people are:
2. Are accepting of themselves and of other people.
That’s a tricky statement for a Christian because Christianity is all about change–becoming someone completely different than who we have been. The moment we are saved, we are a new creation. We are transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the Kingdom of Light. Then we embark on a journey where we learn how to be authentic citizens of heaven. But that is a daily walk. As we grow, our mindsets change, our behavior changes, and we no longer are motivated by what held us back in the past. So, in one sense, it is my Christian duty to spur other believers on as they seek to grow and change. This requires that we don’t settle for where we are, but rather we work to bring about the necessary change that is needed to become mature sons and daughters of Father God.
However, it is easy to lose sight of the heart of Jesus in all of our Christian activity. Not only are we all on a journey into growth and maturity, our Christian expressions are denominationally fragmented stressing different aspects of the Kingdom as more fundamental than others. So, I might learn a particular doctrine in one denomination only to find that it is not as valued in another. Then add that each local body has its own cultural preferences just as individual families display and it can leave someone who is just beginning the maturation process scratching their head in confusion.
As an individual, I also have to learn what assignment I have been given to advance the Kingdom upon the earth and how to function in the particular spiritual gifts that Holy Spirit bestows so that the assignment may be completed. For most of us, this aspect of maturity consumes us because we want to be like Jesus when he stated, “I have come to do the will of My Father,” (John 6:38). But, in our immaturity, we often become so focused on moving in our gifts that we lose sight of why they were given–to build up the body of Christ–not ourselves. (Although Holy Spirit does make something of us too.)
In light of this, we do well to remember Jesus’s words, “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples,” (John 13:34-35).
Do you know what love does? It covers over a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). It doesn’t excuse sin. It seeks to free people from sin. But in the process, it doesn’t expose those we call brothers and sisters in Christ to open shame when they are genuinely following Jesus and are on the path of truly becoming.
Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
Adversity is sure to come to individual believers, and to local church families. We cannot escape affliction and trouble in this life. Jesus said it would be so. But, not only does He promise to be with us in every storm, He who is the Firstborn of the family of God has given us many brothers and sisters in Christ so that we may not have to make the journey home alone.
So, we need to ask ourselves this question: In all our striving to become–are we becoming a true friend to those with which we are called to walk? Can we be trusted to seek after the good of those that Jesus calls his friends?
“You are My friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because everything I have learned from My Father I have made known to you. You did not choose Me, but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will remain—so that whatever you ask the Father in My name, He will give you,” (John 15:14-16).
What is listed in Jesus’s commands? – Love one another.
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